As I write this, you are fast asleep on my chest. I feel like I could happily hold you forever—if only I didn’t need sleep or food. I really hope we can make baby wearing work for us, because having you so close just feels right.
We’re finally home from hospital and I already feel so much more relaxed. It’s such a relief to not be faced with so many differing opinions about everything we do together.
When we left the hospital, they were still concerned about your weight loss since birth. My milk has come in and you’re doing really well at feeding (even though I have to wake you up for some feeds), but I can’t help but worry that you’re not getting enough. Even though you, me and your daddy are starting to find our own groove with caring for you, it’s still far too easy to worry that we’re doing things all wrong.
I want you to thrive and I hate the idea that something I’m doing/not doing could negatively affect your growth or development. Your daddy thinks we’re doing great, and I do too, most of the time, but as a mum it seems impossible to go forward without any self-doubt or anxiety.
For now, I’m going to enjoy every moment of our cuddles and feeds, and I will make sure to seek help if we need it, even if just to reassure. I love you, little one. I hope my best is always enough.