Dear Wolfgang, Last night you had your first bath at home. When the midwife bathed you in hospital, you screamed your lungs out and seemed inconsolable. So, to avoid all of us going through that agony again, I decided to take some advice from my mum (your omi) because apparently I hated baths just as much as you. Your daddy ran water into the big bath and made sure it was a nice temperature, and…
Dear Wolfgang, In sharing these letters on my website, I’ve been criticised for spending too much time behind a computer when I should be focused on my family. This criticism saddened me, not because I think it’s true (I’ve only been writing while you’re asleep), but because of what it suggests about how our society still views new mothers. Apparently, since you came into my life, I’m not allowed to have an existence outside of…
Dear Wolfgang, I’m struggling today. My joints hurt and I can’t seem to find any energy. As you get older, you’ll learn that sometimes Mummy gets more tired than the other mums. There are days when chronic illness kicks my butt. Then there are times when I can manage pretty well, but the battle with pain and fatigue can still be pretty tough. Even though I will always give you all my love, there will…
Dear Wolfgang, I’m struggling with my energy levels again today. My body feels heavy and sore and no amount of sleep feels like it could ever be enough. This is all completely normal for EDS and I guess my usual energy issues have been compounded by recovering from labour and getting used to our new routines. Today your daddy and Pa went to Ikea to buy you a proper crib. This was the longest stretch…
Dear Wolfgang, Today you just want to be held. You’ve been doing so well sleeping in your bassinet and crib, but this evening you cry after a few minutes each time we lie you down. Your daddy and I have been taking turns rocking you and singing to you. I wish we knew what was upsetting you. We’ve made sure you have a clean nappy, are warm and have had your fill of breastmilk. We’ve…
Dear Wolfgang, Now that we’ve started to settle into our own routines and I no longer feel like all my actions are purely reactive, I’ve begun to contemplate my shift in identity—becoming a mum. Even though I’ve considered myself a mother since I fell pregnant, it’s different now that you’re here. My universe is no longer me-centric; you’re smack bang in the middle. Another mum acquaintance said to me recently that she missed the days…
Tonight at 10:30pm you’ll be two weeks old. These past two weeks have been a paradox, both incredibly long and ridiculously fast. We’re getting to see you grow before our eyes. I cannot believe that I carried you inside of me such a short time ago. We managed to go for a walk in the winter sunshine today. You fell asleep as soon as the pram was moving, yet it still felt like such a…
Dear Wolfgang, We’re working things out, you, me and Daddy. We’re getting better and faster at things like nappy changes and new outfits. We’re even starting to find our own routines for night feeds. But there are still so many things that we have no clue about. Last night you were awake and screaming for several hours. (Was this the infamous witching hour?) You seemed to fall asleep for a few minutes but then would…
Dear Wolfgang, Today we received a special care package from our cousin, Amber. She’s travelling in America at the moment and she sent this package before you had even been born. You’ve begun your life in a family filled with so much love. So many people eagerly awaited your arrival. It means the world to me that we are surrounded by such care and support (even if some days your daddy and I just want…
Dear Wolfgang, We saw the maternal/child health nurse today. Everything went well and you’re still growing like a champ, though I have no idea how anyone makes it anywhere on time with a newborn. This morning, by the time we had you fed and in a fresh nappy, I had barely 15 minutes to have a shower. Getting you, the pram and the nappy bag in the car was overwhelming to say the least. Thankfully,…