Day 7

Dear Wolfgang,

Today the tiredness has hit me all at once. We had a long night of cluster feeding and you daddy and I struggled to get more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep at any one time. Even though we’re in the depths of sleep deprivation, I’m so relieved that you’re starting to ask for some of your feeds. We hate waking you up for nursing sessions. You seem to sleep so deeply and we can see that it’s such a struggle for you to stay awake and eat. I hate having to keep you up, but right now you need the milk. Hopefully, as you get older, you’ll still have the knack of sleeping so well.

We’re getting better at nappy changes, but it’s still hard to hear you scream when we undress you. We try and distract you with toys and singing, but you still make sounds of such heart-rending distress. Your daddy and I both get stressed out by your crying and it becomes nearly impossible to not snap at each other.

Your daddy has been incredible this whole week. He has grasped parenthood with both hands and works to anticipate all of our needs. When I’m over tired, I can be hyper-critical (both of myself and others). Your daddy doesn’t deserve this, and I’m so glad he accepts my apologies with such grace.

Tonight at 10:30pm you’ll be a week old. You’ve been with us such a short time, and yet I can no longer envision our lives without you.

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